you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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