I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
