OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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