he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
