you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Boobs are out for the taking
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
