plz talk dirty to me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
