Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
