You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
