I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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