i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
