Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
