i already hear my dad disowning me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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