literally had 100 drinks last night.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
