Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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