It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
