I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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