It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize