I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
