I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
