it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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