pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
