brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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