This girl is more easily done than said...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
