Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
