I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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