you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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