I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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