So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
