do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
