then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize