so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize