Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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