We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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