He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
