Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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