Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
