I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
