My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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