fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize