Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
