Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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