Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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