would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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