You made me cry and you don't even care
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
