There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
