you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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