I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
