she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
