Nicole vs. Life
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
