We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
