So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize