he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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