zippers are such a cool invention
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
