Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
