I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize