its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize