honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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