Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
