sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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