i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize