i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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