Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
