Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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