I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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