I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
