i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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