just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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