I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
