Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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