fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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