He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
nutella sex= disaster
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize