Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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