In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
