did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
