everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
