I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
