Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
