we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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