Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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