I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
