So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
