Will you blow on my dice?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize