It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
