Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
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