WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
